I Only Dog Paddle

I signed up for triathlon swim training on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 5:45 AM. I own a maternity swim suit that I like because of the modesty of the skirt which was originally intended to fit over an eight month pregnant belly. It’s blue. I don’t own a pair of goggles so I borrowed my son’s, which are green. In this get-up I begin to remind myself of my oldest son who is described by his younger brother as, “Tall, un-matching clothes and freakishly long socks. All except for the socks suddenly I see were he get’s his fashion sense. I mentally prepared for the morning by setting my alarm clock. Subconsciously I was still in denial about it because I forgot to turn the alarm on. Needless to say I hopped out of bed at 6:00AM and got the pool at about 6:15 AM, an aura of high fashion in tow. All the other athletes were well into the work out when I showed up. The coach was high and dry standing on the wall giving directions. I approached, introduced myself and apologized for my tardiness. “I’m here to learn.” I said. “I don’t really know how to swim,” I continued, “But your flier said the class was for all abilities.” I have a feeling the coach made a mental note to check his flier at this point. Politely, he inquired with a flat voice, “You are doing a triathlon?” “Well,” I replied in my most upbeat manner, “I hope to some time in my life, but as I said before, I don’t really know how to swim.” “OK,” he said with more determination than I had expected, “Get in the water, swim to the other side of the pool and back and let’s see what you got.” I was reminded of Andre the Giant in Princess Bride as I replied, “OK, but I only dog paddle.” “Go for it,” he replied. I did as I was told and I think I almost drown twice. Needless to say the coach is talented; before I left I had a concept of proper breath technique and positioning in the water. I’ve got a lot to work on. My husband commented later in the day that it was a good thing senior water aerobics had been canceled or I might have been politely asked to join that class instead. Don’t get me wrong, I can’t compete with them either.